Sunday, July 31, 2011

Snarky Sunday: Epic Fail

Can we all make a promise to ourselves to stop using the word epic when the event being described is in fact, not epic? For example:

I just drove through some epic traffic.

No, you didn’t. There is nothing epic about standard daily rush hour traffic.

That party last night was epic!

- Really? Did they have elephants and tigers walking through the house like in some crazy music video? Did someone die from a drug overdose? No? Then it probably wasn’t epic. Just because the police showed up because your neighbor complained does not make it epic – it makes it a regular party, similar to the one I had at my parents’ house when I was seventeen.

That movie was epic!

- Sorry to break it to you, but it probably wasn’t. The only movie that was epic, was probably the first movie ever played in the history of movies. After that, they are kind of all the same. Sure, I love Twilight as much as the next girl (team Jacob!), but I can’t say that it’s an epic movie. (Obviously).

Epic Fail

Missing your stop on the bus because you were texting? Not an epic fail. Forgetting to pick up milk on the way home? Not an epic fail. Forgetting to pick your kid up from the bus stop because you were getting milk? That could potentially be considered an epic fail.

My point is, stop overstating things people. Unless there was some huge catastrophe, tragedy, or elephants and tigers involved, find a different adjective.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Friday Five: Things I Didn't Do This Week

1. Participate in the Daring Bakers July challenge. I think they may kick me out.

2. Drink any Diet Coke. I’m on the wagon. Its siren song has been calling out to me every day at 2:00 p.m., and I haven’t answered its call once. I miss it so, so much.

3. Do laundry. I don’t think I can extend the life of the jeans I’m wearing for much longer. Something must be done. I guess I know what my long weekend plans are.

4. Talk to my dad at all. He’s on holidays and I haven’t been able to get a hold of him. Actually, now that I think about it, I haven’t talked to him since he left ten days ago. He’s going to kill me.

5. Did I mention I didn’t drink any Diet Coke?

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Snarky Sunday: Hipster Chic

I understand fads and trends and all the rest of that. I don’t wear a paper sack, or designer clothes, but I’m somewhere in the middle I think. I will splurge on some things – a nice purse, maybe a pair of shoes, or a good pair of jeans, but that’s about it. The thing is though, if I buy something nice, it’s going to look like something nice. I don't want to sound like an oldy lady - I'm not, but doesn't anyone care about looking presentable anymore?

What I don’t understand is people paying top dollar to look like an extra from Saved By the Bell. Oversized dark frame glasses. Check. Oversized t-shirt. Check. Acid wash jeans and/or tights. Check. All of the above are worn in an unironic manner, like it's totally normal to have glasses that are ten sizes too big for your face? Check. What is the point of that? Do they not realize they look really stupid? I get that trends are cyclical but I think some things just should not be recycled.

What is even worse is all the accessories you need to be a hipster. Let me go and pay thousands of dollars for a restored record player. Or how about lugging around a typewriter instead of a laptop? I just think it’s hilarious that these people (usually twenty somethings – of which I myself am one, but have somehow managed to escape the siren song of Polaroid cameras and fluorescent clothing) are trying so hard to be unique when they look like every other loser at Starbucks. Again, it’s a trend, and I'll admit, some components of it do seem like fun, but for the most part I really hope it passes soon. Like come on! The 80s are over. You were born in the 90s or at the very least only a toddler in the 80s. Claim your own style rather than trying to look like a character from a John Hughes movie (if you even know who that is). Oh. one more thing. If you are over the age of thirty and participating in this trend, then you really need to not do that anymore. When people in their 20s do it, it's annoying. When you do it, it's obnoxious and desperate.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Snarky Sunday - Pedicures

I feel like lately I haven’t been bringing the snark as frequently as I would like. I plan on remedying this with a weekly injection of it, called Snarky Sundays.

I am not the type of person who wants to spend a day at the spa to relax – that would actually stress me out more than anything. My mind would be racing with all the tasks I’ve neglected because I’m wearing a white robe and trying to avoid athlete’s foot in the lounge area. Seriously I just want you to paint my toenails – why am I undressing?! It just seems like a lot of pomp and circumstance for some nail polish is all I’m saying. I get it – some people like that – more power to you. If you like paying $100.00 for a pedicure just so you can wear a robe and access the bacteria ridden facilities like the hot tub and sauna, then absolutely – knock yourself out. I hope you have a prescription for Cipro on standby.

Instead, I prefer the bacteria ridden tools of the chop shop nail salon that you can find on the corner of shopping complexes in suburbia. The risk seems worth the reward – a pedi/mani in less than one hour, no obligation to speak to the aesthetician (mainly because nine times out of ten she is ignoring you just as much as you are avoiding conversation with her) and it will only cost you $45.00 (including the tip)! But, all that being said, there is one thing that annoys me about these places.

I appreciate the trade off – you get what you pay for. I’m totally on board with that. But if I specifically call ahead and make an appointment, and show up to said appointment, and I still have to wait 20 minutes with my feet soaking in a bucket of tepid water before someone comes to help me out, that is where I draw the line. Especially when I see only three employees and ten women at various states of their manicures, nail fills, or pedicures. My dad has a restaurant, I understand that you always make room for one more customer, but he’s not going to make the people that called and made a reservation wait because someone just showed up. I wish they would apply the same practice at nail salons. They totally trap you – the water bath may as well be a cement block because they know, once they have you in the soaker tub, you aren’t going anywhere. And they are totally right – I just wish there was a middle ground salon. Somewhere that is cleaner than the chop shop, but less pretentious than the spa. Or perhaps I should just do my own damn nails. What is your preference?

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

One of my Favorites - Breaking Bad

*Links may contain spoilers

I feel like it is my responsibility, when I find a good TV show, to share it with everyone I know. It actually gives me great joy (it's the simple things in life really) to share a hidden gem of a TV show with someone who normally would not have watched it. I did this with Breaking Bad last year - I got both my sisters, and all of my cousins (FYI - I'm Greek, so there are a lot of us) to watch it and they all loved it.

I can not express how excited I am that Breaking Bad starts again this Sunday. It has been a long time since season 3 finished and I can't wait for this amazing show to start again. Have you seen it? If you haven't, do yourself a favor and go rent, borrow, buy or steal the first three seasons on DVD so you can catch up. The seasons are only 10 or 12 episodes so you still have time. As an aside, I know that you have time to watch this because I once bought season five of 24 on DVD on a Thursday night (the new season would start three days later on Sunday night) and let me tell you - Jack Bauer wasn't the only one who was racing against the clock. I totally did it - and that was 24 episodes. I'm not saying this is something I'm particularly proud of, but my point is that it can be done. I don't want to hear excuses!

Anway. Reasons why Breaking Bad is amazing - it is very well written (it's on AMC - where "stories matter"), it has beautiful cinematography - this is a show that definitely needs an HD box, and the characters, oh the glorious characters. I like to think that if I knew Jesse(beware of spoilers if you click on the link) in real life I would take him home with me and give him a big hug and take care of him forever. Unfortunately, I'm not so altruistic that I would bring a former crystal meth addict that has ties with the drug trade as a user, pusher, and producer into my home, so I'm glad I don't actually know Jesse (or anyone like him) in real life.

And yes, I did just write 80 words about a character on a fictional television show and why I wouldn't bring him into my home.

The storylines are captivating and you find yourself rooting for people that you normally wouldn't be on side with, and the relationships are all complex and interwoven, and it is just really, really good. Check it out and let me know what you think - you won't be sorry!