Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Sew Crafty

Because I don’t already have enough useless hobbies that are expensive and require a lot of equipment - baking/photography, I’m looking at you – I decided to add one more to the mix. Sewing! What’s that you say? We aren’t living during the Great Depression and I don’t need to sew my own clothing? Nonsense. I got excited after seeing some patterns on Etsy, and I thought to myself, I can totally do this. Grade 9 Home Economics was only about 15 years ago, and I don’t imagine the actual technology of a sewing machine has changed dramatically in that amount of time, so why not go buy a sewing machine and 3 metres of fabric? Amiright?

Well. After watching You Tube video, after You Tube video, I still could not, for the life of me get my bobbin (seriously, when is the last time you heard that word) threaded properly. I would make a few stitches and then everything would get all tangled in the needle. SO frustrating. Finally, I realized my problem (I hadn’t locked the bobbin into position, and it kept popping out. That's what she said.) and got started. I cut my pattern for an apron, for when I never do my other hobby, baking. The irony of the situation is not lost on me. So anyways, I’m cutting my fabric, realizing that maybe 3 metres of print fabric isn’t really necessary for one apron, probably just 1 metre would have been enough, but, c’est la vie.

So I finally got to the ‘meat’ of the project – actual sewing, and I was doing okay, if I do say so myself. My speed could use a little fine tuning and some more consistency, but overall, it was an okay job. I read along the next set of instructions, and it calls for an iron to press the seam down. Is that shit for real?! I said I want to learn to sew, but now they want me to pull out an ironing board on top of everything else? Come on.

I already had to dismantle the computer that was sitting on the desk to make room for my sewing machine, I had pieces of thread all over our living room floor, not to mention scraps of paper from cutting the pattern and a tomato pin cushion thingy just waiting to be stepped on (I’m not necessarily into the whole ‘clean as you go’ process), and now they want me to pull out an iron and ironing board to add to the chaos? So I can sew an apron, that in reality, I will never wear. Oh hell no. That is where I draw the line in domestic duties. Anything that needs to be ironed is sent to the dry cleaners. I hate it, and if you'll induldge me for a quick side note, I think I know the reason why.

When I was younger I was running urgently into the family room for some reason, not realizing that my sister had started the ritual of Friday night chores we (mostly she, because she is the oldest) were assigned to with the ironing. I was in such a rush and apparently running at the speed of light that I ran right into the ironing board, clotheslining myself, and knocking the iron, ironing board, and my sisters glass of Orange Tang that she was resting on the ironing board on to the floor. I didn't burn myself, but I was literally clotheslined by an ironing board.

Since I can’t exactly return the sewing machine, although I am tempted, I’ve decided to reevaluate what my first project should be instead. I’m also thinking that I need to get over the whole ironing thing as I’m sure it will be unavoidable when sewing in general. So, crafty people, what are your ideas for an easy first time project? Currently, I’m thinking of a reusable shopping bag, a) because it seems easy and b) I’m starting to get a little sick of all the judgment when the cashier asks me if I’ve brought my own bags, to which the answer is always, no. Let me know your ideas for an easy project. Projects with a lot of ironing need not apply.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Snarky Sunday: Cash or Credit?

I don’t know if I’m on my own on this one, but how frustrating is it when you’re in line at the grocery store, and someone pulls out a credit or debit card to pay for milk? Really? You don’t have a five dollar bill laying around somewhere to cover that? You have to hold up the line trying to figure out if the card has a chip reader or just needs to be swiped by the cashier, and oh, you selected the wrong account, and oops, there’s a pin error, and all I want to do is rip out a handful of change, throw it on the counter, and tell the person to scram so I can pay for my groceries in peace. Just me?

Friday, August 12, 2011

Friday Five: Fall Resolutions

So the lazy days of summer are almost over and I need my brain to start picking up the pace in preparation for fall. Here are my top five resolutions for autumn that will hopefully help me stay on top of my life.

1. Actually do my homework and readings for my courses in a timely manner, instead of my usual cracking the text at the last minute to pull relevant quotes for my 15 page paper.

2. Cook dinner at home. I’m done with eating out two times a week or ordering pizza. My wallet is especially done with it.

3. Stay on top of my house. Not that I’m some desperate housewife who has millions of loads of laundry and floors to clean, but just the day to day stuff that gets away from you, you know? A little each day is my new mantra instead of A LOT all day on a Saturday.

4. Bake! How nice does your house smell when you make apple pie or homemade cookies? I need to get back into that.

5. Exercise. Especially if I start baking more, I will need to make sure I’m still going for walks or doing yoga to keep my amazing body in shape (snerk). Exercise is always the first thing that gets sacrificed when you’re busy and/or watching a Vampire Diaries marathon to catch up before the new season starts, so I need to definitely make it a priority.

Enjoy the rest of your summer everyone! Fall is just around the corner…

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

One of My Favorites - Curb Your Enthusiasm

Summer television can be kind of a drag – Bachelor Pad 2, Summer Wipeout - I’m looking at you, but for every ten duds, there is one shining ray of light. That shining ray of light is Curb Your Enthusiasm for me. I love the “social assassin” that is Larry David. The writing is so sharp and the storylines always converge in the final act in such a hilarious and yet organic way. The show follows Larry David around and he plays himself (or perhaps an exaggerated version of himself) and is put in everyday situations that he somehow manages to make into a big deal. One episode deals with the “chat and cut” where a woman starts chatting with someone in a buffet line and cuts in front of him. Most of us would just let that slide, but he is a man of principle, and calls her out on it. Hilarity and awkwardness ensues.

I think I enjoy it so much because he says whatever is on his mind, with no regard for social appropriateness or norms (hence his nickname – “social assassin”). I would never do half the stuff Larry does – I’d probably think about doing it, and once I was removed from the situation would have a list of ten things I should have said at the time it was happening, instead of what I did do, which is likely just smile politely and give them my plate and the last of the roast beef as they cut in front of me in line. But that is neither here nor there. What makes this show so funny is that you get to see what happens when you disregard niceties and tell someone the truth, or call them out on trying to pull a chat and cut on you. It can be awkward, but mostly it’s hilarious.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Friday Five: Things I Wish I Knew How to Do

1. Any winter sport. I live in Canada, and there is likely snow on the ground eight months out of the year. I’m not saying that I would enjoy being on a ski hill all day, or skating around a pond all afternoon, but I feel like these are skills I should have some mastery of. The hard truth is I have none of either.

2. Play an instrument. My husband can play the violin. If I knew how to play something, maybe we could start a really crappy band.

3. Apply make up properly. Seriously – I have no clue how to do anything to make my face look better. I can put on mascara if absolutely required, and lipstick, but really that’s it. Imagine how hot I would be if I knew what the hell foundation was and how to properly apply blush?

4. Make croissants. Seriously, why is this such a challenge?

5. Stick with a hobby for more than two months. Especially when they are expensive hobbies like photography.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The Last Book I Read

I just finished reading the book Six Suspects by Vikas Swarup. I’ve shared my love of books set in the Middle East and India in the past, so I thought it would be a good fit for me. It’s from the guy who wrote Slumdog Millionaire and although I didn’t read that book, I did see the movie which was pretty good so I thought why not.

As an aside, how much do I love Irrfan Khan? He played the police inspector in Slumdog Millionaire and he was also a patient on the TV show In Treatment. Have you heard him speak? He has the most hypnotic voice. Love him. Anyways, back to the book.

So I really liked it. The ending was kind of meh, but the whole 400 pages leading up to it were really good. The book is about a man who murders a girl and then has a party to celebrate his acquittal, as you do when you get away with murder. But, TWIST! He himself is then murdered at the party.

There are three suspects in his murder. Just kidding. Obviously there are six suspects in his murder. So each chapter is written in the perspective of one of those suspects, and in the end all the stories sort of intertwine. I sort of figured out who the killer was in the third section, (as I’m sure you will too), but it was a fun story anyways. It’s a pretty easy read and the characters are interesting although the one American suspect is really stupid. Like take you out of the story stupid. Either, way, I would recommend it if you are looking to get wrapped up in a fun story.