Namaste

So I decided that I would postpone my new year's resolution until February
- when everyone else was giving up on their resolutions, I'd just be
gearing up for mine – and it would seem like I’m ultra committed. It seemed to work. I found a hot yoga studio near my house that had just opened, and decided to give it a shot. My initial plan was to hit the 6:30 am class for my first time - I didn't want to be surrounded by a bunch of young college girls who were smoking hot, and actually knew what the heck they were doing and instead preferred to go at the crack of dawn where the chance of being seen in my outdated yoga wear by some judge-y twenty year old was significantly smaller. Unfortunately that didn't work out as a friend strong armed me into going with her to the 8 p.m. class - the exact class I was trying to avoid. Either way, we went, and it was pretty awesome. Beyond the fact that I had no clue what I was doing, and there were close to 50 people in the room, it was actually pretty good.

Have you tried it before? Personally, I like how quiet it is in the room, and how I actually feel like I’m working out – after 75 minutes I am drenched, I can’t imagine doing yoga in a room that isn’t 40 degree – it seems like it would be pointless. And the instructors. Oh the glorious instructors. They are so hippy and dippy and not my style at all, but the one instructor has this hypnotic voice, that puts me in a trance every class. She speaks really quickly and low, and then all of a sudden super loud. For example, if we are in tree pose, she will say “Step one is to stay here with your hands at heart center. Thatisabsolutelyfine.Listentoyourbody. If you’ve found your balance, move your hands above your head. If you’ve found balance, extend your gaze to the ceiling. Lift your hands higher. Reach, your hands higher for one, lift your gaze to the ceiling for two and higher for three.” She’s so wild.

That being said, there are some things I can’t behind and/or don’t understand.

When the instructor says to “bring awareness to your breathing”, what the hell does she mean? It’s like, okay, I am breathing, I know I’m breathing because I’m still alive, so what more beyond that do you need? Or the other one is “breathe into your back/hips/core/etc.” HOW ON EARTH DO YOU DO THAT? I’m sorry for yelling, but when I breathe, I think I’m breathing into my lungs, no? Also, what is with men not wearing shirts in the class?
Why do they feel that is appropriate? There is one guy that is always shirtless and it annoys me even more because he wears bicycle shorts on top of everything else. Think about that. Bicycle, spandex-y shorts with no shirt. I don't need to see that lethal combination. No one does. Do us all a favor and throw on a t-shirt. Everyone is hot. You are the only one with no shirt.

I’ve accepted that I’m probably doing half of the poses incorrectly, will never figure out the proper way to breathe, my clothes are highly outdated, and there is a good chance I’ve probably developed some sort of athletes foot from walking around the studio barefoot all the time. Even still, I think I will continue to stick with it – I can do a headstand again! And I’m thisclose to doing a full wheel (sorry for the somewhat graphic nature of that link). If you haven’t tried it, you should – it really is a lot of fun (minus the shirtless men).